About writing
I think I stopped defining myself as a writer several months ago. It feels strange and akward, I haven't been without that definition for a couple of years, but it doesn't fit anymore. I don't write. I'm not a writer. If I'm anything, I'm an editor. Although, that carries with it the intrisic problem that you're only really an editor if you work as one or have the right education (which of course begs the question wether the same should be said about the word "writer" or if we have "author" to glorify the truly proffesional writer. Writers are, after all, allowed to be amateurs, authors not so).
But I do feel like an editor, I want to be an editor. When I grow up I'm going to better texts for a living. There is something special in a good text. Potential, getting to be a part of something like that feels good, personal. Intimate. Seeing a text develop is purely fulfilling. On the flip side, people who despite tons of advice just don't get it. Drive me up the fucking wall. People who cannot develop, improve or listen to what they're being told should be shot on sight.
I really wish I could be a writer again though, so I'm making a vow to get back into the habit, and this blog is going to be my goddamn tool. I will write prose, poetry, blogs, essays, rants or otherwise, but I will write. And I will write every goddamn day and post it here. The key to writing is after all, habit. I need to get back into the habit and then maybe, I'll eventually get to the part where I can dredge out something worthwhile from it.
But I do feel like an editor, I want to be an editor. When I grow up I'm going to better texts for a living. There is something special in a good text. Potential, getting to be a part of something like that feels good, personal. Intimate. Seeing a text develop is purely fulfilling. On the flip side, people who despite tons of advice just don't get it. Drive me up the fucking wall. People who cannot develop, improve or listen to what they're being told should be shot on sight.
I really wish I could be a writer again though, so I'm making a vow to get back into the habit, and this blog is going to be my goddamn tool. I will write prose, poetry, blogs, essays, rants or otherwise, but I will write. And I will write every goddamn day and post it here. The key to writing is after all, habit. I need to get back into the habit and then maybe, I'll eventually get to the part where I can dredge out something worthwhile from it.
posted by M | 1:04 am
3 Comments:
I believe I can fully understand this aspect as you've described it. It's funky when you've described yourself as something for so many years to realize that you're really not definable by that anymore.
Can you be a gamer if you don't play games anymore? Can you be lover if you haven't had intimate contact with anyone recently? Can you be a warmonger if you haven't started (or attempted to) any wars recently?
But it feels weird to take off that title, fold it up nicely, and put in in a drawer labeled 'my past life'.
I also definitely agree with your description of the joys of editing a great piece of work only to see it get better.
I also know the frustration of spending time and energy, only to see it wasted as the writer exclaims, "you just don't understand!"
On a slightly side note:
On the flip side, people who despite tons of advice just don't get it. Drive me up the fucking wall.
Did you mean: On the flip side, people who despite tons of advice just don't get it, Drive me up the fucking wall.
Sorry if I was out of line, it just seemed peculiar to me.
I hope you endeavor to write every day really does help you. I hope it gives you a great sense of fulfillment and pride.
**the wok tries to think of more encouragement...he can't**
Good luck.
On the flipside, it's equally funky to realise that a definition you abandoned and discarded still fits, and fits better than ever. So who knows?
I'm not sure what you actually edited in that particular bit, but what I tried to say that when you attempt to help and explain something and the person on the recieving end doesn't understand or only understand the kindergarden level, it just drives me insane. Follow me?
I respect your writing. This is very true. However, I also respect the other aspects of who you are to a greater degree, such as your intelligence and general creativity, as well as wit and ability to mediate.
Perhaps you should not define yourself as merely a writer or editor, and tie up the whole of your identity within that concept, but rather tie up your identity within the multiple concepts and aspects that make-up you.
In short, as opposed to defining yourself as the entity which is a writer you should define yourself as the entity which is yourself.
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