Exploding mushrooms
There are a few things a person can be mocked for not knowing to do, boil an egg or tie their shoe-laces for example. Or make an omelette, if you cannot make an omelette you are truly inept and not fit to cut your momma's apron strings.
So my question is, does the kind of omelette you're attempting to make factor in, and what about exploding mushrooms? Do you get an ineptitude-discount for the exploding mushrooms?
Rarely before has making lunch been so risky and eventful. I thought this was going to be just any other lunch-making day. As I fried the potatoes nothing appeared to be out of the ordinary, how wrong I was. As I poured the mushrooms in, I noticed a distinct popping sound. Thinking nothing of it I proceeded to stir the mushrooms, and was immediately forced to take cover behind a chair as the frying pan sizzled angrily and shot a spray of cooking butter towards me.
Temporarily retreating I put on some Armour (read: hooded sweater) and approached cautiously. First order of business was to lower the heat, so far, so good. I decided to leave it be for a small while. Upon return I attempted to stir it again, despite omnious popping-noises. Despite my Armour I had to retreat as I was showered with not only cooking butter, but pieces of mushroom, too. What had I done to deserve this? I do not and may never know.
In the end a system was worked out where the frying pan was sat upon low heat for a short while, taken off heat, stirred and then returned until the mushrooms were sufficiently fried.
So, do I get an ineptitude-discount for total war? I hope so. I'd hate to be labelled inept on the account of exploding mushrooms.
So my question is, does the kind of omelette you're attempting to make factor in, and what about exploding mushrooms? Do you get an ineptitude-discount for the exploding mushrooms?
Rarely before has making lunch been so risky and eventful. I thought this was going to be just any other lunch-making day. As I fried the potatoes nothing appeared to be out of the ordinary, how wrong I was. As I poured the mushrooms in, I noticed a distinct popping sound. Thinking nothing of it I proceeded to stir the mushrooms, and was immediately forced to take cover behind a chair as the frying pan sizzled angrily and shot a spray of cooking butter towards me.
Temporarily retreating I put on some Armour (read: hooded sweater) and approached cautiously. First order of business was to lower the heat, so far, so good. I decided to leave it be for a small while. Upon return I attempted to stir it again, despite omnious popping-noises. Despite my Armour I had to retreat as I was showered with not only cooking butter, but pieces of mushroom, too. What had I done to deserve this? I do not and may never know.
In the end a system was worked out where the frying pan was sat upon low heat for a short while, taken off heat, stirred and then returned until the mushrooms were sufficiently fried.
So, do I get an ineptitude-discount for total war? I hope so. I'd hate to be labelled inept on the account of exploding mushrooms.
posted by M | 3:34 pm
3 Comments:
[Re : I'd hate to be labeled inept on the account of exploding mushrooms.]
Nah, it's just inexperience with exploding mushrooms. You may ask what the appropriate action would be. I'll tell you from a foodservice professional's PoV, and I often deal with sizzling skillets of death.
When the shrooms start getting aggravated, remove from heat and add more cooking oil. At this point the heat differential should calm the sputtering for a brief moment.
Then crank the heat (this works best on gas-ranges) and add a couple mg's of water.
WOOOSH! Ignition!
The impressive fireball will leap a good half-meter, giving you about a second to throw a lid on it before the kitchen is engulfed.
Remove from heat.
The subsequent 'cooking' will all take place under the lid as the oil and water fight to the death.
Perfect mushrooms, stir-fry, etc in moments.
Every time.
Or I could just oven-bake them, right?
Fire is way more fun. Burn it all! Combustion is the heart of the stove top.
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