Insomnia
Those who know me more than in passing know that I regularly fail at sleep. I don't know enough about D20 to say something witty about my sleep-skills but quite clearly, my stats suck.
I have a creepy suspicion that I've just forgotten how to go to sleep. Like somewhere along the road I just forgot how to turn my brain off. It shouldn't take hours to fall asleep, but it does, every single fucking night. The nights I do get to sleep that is.
That is not to say that It haven't gotten better. It's been worse, far worse, but I seem to have reached an impasse as far as my improvement is regarded. I've been considering taking up meditation, re-learn to shut my mind up if you will, but I've yet to mobilise the motivation to actually learn, or the economic means for that matter.
One morbidly interesting aspect is when I catch myself re-enacting negative patterns which further keeps me from sleep. For example, looking up insomnia in it's various forms on the net and getting all anxious and depressed about it, which does not help me calming down enough to sleep, a theme which has endless variations of course.
Interesting anti-achivements of insomnia so far:
Being awake for 36-hours is less-than-fun. There are several studies that co-relate insomnia with depression, something which does not surprise me in the least. The things that so drasticly impairs your capability of rational thought, sound assessment of self and rapidly escalate your general angst-levels the way insomnia does are few and far in between.
After a conversation with a friend of mine who currently works with studying sleep, I'm planning on visting my doctor to determine wether I'm suffering from insomnia in a clinical fashion the day after tomorrow. And now I've written it down so I'm officially comitted to the idea so there, I hope I get around to it. I miss sleeping well on weekdays.
I have a creepy suspicion that I've just forgotten how to go to sleep. Like somewhere along the road I just forgot how to turn my brain off. It shouldn't take hours to fall asleep, but it does, every single fucking night. The nights I do get to sleep that is.
That is not to say that It haven't gotten better. It's been worse, far worse, but I seem to have reached an impasse as far as my improvement is regarded. I've been considering taking up meditation, re-learn to shut my mind up if you will, but I've yet to mobilise the motivation to actually learn, or the economic means for that matter.
One morbidly interesting aspect is when I catch myself re-enacting negative patterns which further keeps me from sleep. For example, looking up insomnia in it's various forms on the net and getting all anxious and depressed about it, which does not help me calming down enough to sleep, a theme which has endless variations of course.
Interesting anti-achivements of insomnia so far:
- Turning my sleeping-hours around so badly that I went to bed at 6 AM and had to stay up 36 hours straight in order to turn my sleeping hours right.
- More than once.
- three times.
- While having a cold to deal with.
Being awake for 36-hours is less-than-fun. There are several studies that co-relate insomnia with depression, something which does not surprise me in the least. The things that so drasticly impairs your capability of rational thought, sound assessment of self and rapidly escalate your general angst-levels the way insomnia does are few and far in between.
After a conversation with a friend of mine who currently works with studying sleep, I'm planning on visting my doctor to determine wether I'm suffering from insomnia in a clinical fashion the day after tomorrow. And now I've written it down so I'm officially comitted to the idea so there, I hope I get around to it. I miss sleeping well on weekdays.
posted by M | 1:22 am
4 Comments:
I have recently been having an insomnia probelm myself. Up until Friday night/Saturday morning I hadn't slept for around 140-160 hours. However, I haven't been recently depressed myself, so I'm not sure that I would limit insomnia to the sole province of depression.
However lack of sleep and hallucinations did make me a little pissy, as did being unable to recall the order events went in.
Well, I run on very little sleep on a regular basis. But, I also know the importance of being able to sleep when you need to. I hope all goes well with your appointment and that you're finally able to get some much needed rest.
Well, the curren situation is that I have sleep-aid pills. Which I tested for about a week where the only real result was that while trying to sleep, I was even ore tired than usual,but still not able to relax and fall asleep, and being real dredgy in the mornings, so I quit them, and now I sleep reasonably well and am reasonably capable of getting out of bed in the mornings.
I knew I should've insisted on a referral to a specialist.
I have mild insomnia as well, it's a bitch. It's usually okay, because most people don't sleep in our school anyway (well, people like me), but things get our of hand when you don't have a routine.
See, it's Chinese New Year holidays for me, and I tried three days in a row to "sleep early, so I can get up early and finish all those damn essay/research papers", but, of course, I end up, from 10pm to 3 AM, rolling around in bed, doing sit ups, read a page or two of Dark Towers, and then I give up. Half Life 2.
You'd think having only slept for 4 hours last night would make you sleep better...
I tried Uberman Sleep once if you know what that is, haha.
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